I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make.
America's getting stinking on something I stir or shake.

The Sex on the Beach, the schnapps made from peach,
The Velvet Hammer, the Alabama Slammer.

I make things with juice and froth,
The Pink Squirrel, the Three-Toed Sloth.

I make drinks so sweet and snazzy,
The Iced Tea, the Kamikaze.

The Orgasm, the Death Spasm,
The Singapore Sling, the Ding-a-Ling.

America, you're just devoted,
to every flavor I've got.

But if you want to get loaded,
Why don't you just order a shot